You gotta let people make the decision, because people are going to make the decision that they want to make anyway, and you cannot, you cannot.

And I want to emphasize this.

You cannot be more passionate about somebody's life than they are.

What I mean, yeah, and I'm going to let you go, but what I really mean by that is sometimes we get so caught up in what people got going on

that we allow that to frustrate us when they don't take our advice.

Because we're like, yo, I want better for you.

Just do it.

I used to be that way.

Until I realized, yo, this is this person.

This is their life.

I don't have to be more passionate about this person's life than they are. Let them ruin their life if they want to. I can still love them from a distance. I don't have to be upset that they're not taking my advice. Yes, it's annoying. But at the same time, if that's my friend and I really do love them unconditionally, I can still love them from a distance and allow them to do whatever they want to do and not allow that to frustrate or upset me.

But go ahead.

You're going to say something because you're absolutely right.

We call that countertransference when the therapist start working harder than the client.

You're like, wait, I don't already told you this.

But that's another reason you bring up, man.

Friends will give information. Therapists will help with transformation. Oh. And it's so different. The questioning, the validation, the processing, all of that's going to look different when you're talking to a professional versus a friend. Because France's like, hey, let me give you the blueprint right here. Yeah, yeah. You good to go. Yeah. As a therapist, we know like, yeah, I can tell you what to do, but you're not ready to hear it yet. Yeah. So even if I do tell you, it's not going to hit like it's supposed to. Yeah. So let me strategically walk you through this process so you can, as you said, make your own decision. Yeah, yeah i like that i want to go back to one of the earlier things that you said about confidentiality oh yeah okay so i think that's so important because one of the things that i think a lot of men are deathly terrified of is sharing something and then that thing getting out. So I tell you something that was near and

dear to my heart that I really struggled with telling and I probably haven't told and told many

people. And then you then use that information either in an argument later or you share it with

somebody else that I wasn't comfortable with you sharing it

with.

How do men work back from that?

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