XYBM Clips: Unresolved trauma will always show up in your relationship
Express Yourself Black Man
Kizzle
5.0 • 556 Ratings
🗓️ 31 December 2025
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In XYBM 146, I sit down with Dr. Rose Moten, a renowned psychologist and trauma healing specialist, to discuss the challenges Black men face when it comes to asking for help and not feeling like we’re doing enough. Dr. Rose shares her personal and professional insights into emotional wellness, the importance of being present, and navigating family dynamics and grief, especially during the holiday season.
This episode is a must-watch as we head into the holiday season, when emotions tend to surface in ways we don’t always expect. Tune in on all podcast streaming platforms — including YouTube.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What's like one of the number one scenarios or like maybe the underlying issue that you see with a lot of couples that's like leading them to come to see you? |
| 0:08.3 | Just different perspectives, different upbringings, honestly, trauma. |
| 0:15.3 | Trauma is the number one, if I had to say that. |
| 0:18.4 | Unresolved trauma. Because when you have unresolved trauma, you're triggered by things that your partner don't |
| 0:27.5 | even realize it's triggering to you. |
| 0:29.5 | Explain that. |
| 0:31.1 | Oh, my God. |
| 0:31.9 | It can be something as simple as the way you, like, not putting the top on the toothpaste, right? |
| 0:41.7 | I'm going to say something. |
| 0:42.8 | Maybe that partner growing up did that one time and got, you know, a beating for it. |
| 0:48.6 | I'm just giving an example out here. |
| 0:51.1 | Maybe they had a very harsh parent, you know, that just critiqued everything they did. |
| 0:56.0 | But something that you do may trigger that person to say, it's not even you doing, if that |
| 1:03.2 | makes sense. Because the whole ideal of why trauma continues to linger on forever is the fact that, you know, it hasn't been dealt with. And even |
| 1:14.2 | though it's happening right now, so you left the top off the toothpaste in 2025. But back in |
| 1:20.9 | 1984, you remember getting a butt-whipping for because your mom was stressed and overworked or |
| 1:26.7 | what have you for doing that. |
| 1:28.4 | And so now your partner has done that. |
| 1:31.1 | And even though it's 2025, you're having a flashback. |
| 1:35.3 | You know, your brain remembers that time as if it's happening right now. |
| 1:40.0 | And now you're reacting in a way that doesn't fit what has happened. |
| 1:43.3 | So your partner looking at, I can't believe this, man, stop talking to me for three days because I left the top off the toothpaste. |
... |
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