Content warning for discussions of child sexual and religious abuse. I'm I'm so on I saw a video of this guy who just smashed his shin against like a metal pole.

And I was talking to a fighter and he said, well, what you do is you start him at a young age and you slowly kind of break their shins.

Yeah.

They like rebuild stronger with like knots and stuff.

So then you can just like literally take in like bam.

And I want to throw up in my head.

I mean, I understand why that's terrifying to you, but it is so ingrained in so many

different kinds of forms of athleticism.

It's like with point shoes, you're building up calluses.

You're building up like the bone structure.

You're literally changing your bone structure and your foot doing it.

But at the same time, it's like this, I love it.

It's like this revered art form that is like you get this

right of passage when you get your first point shoes and you take your first point class.

It's like this big momentous thing in your life. So I think there's like both sides of it a little

bit. Maybe that's why you like gore, like gory, bloody movies? I think maybe that there's

some of that. I think that I don't have a lot of other really masochistic tendencies, really,

because I have that outlet. You know what I mean? Like, no judgment if you have other ways to

let those feelings out. But I do think, like, that maybe that's why I don't need to get like hung up on hooks and stuff, you know?

Oh, the hung up on hooks makes me want to shit my pants forever, fucking throw up and die.

Like the skin that separates from the muscle, that's some hellraiser business.

Yeah, but people love it.

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