Worlds Longest Lollipop w/ Turner Sparks

Race Wars

Kurt Metzger and Sherrod Small

Comedy

4.1 • 778 Ratings

🗓️ 9 February 2017

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kurt & Sherrod give a big American welcome to Turner Sparks, Kurt's white friend from China, to find out why he brought Mr. Softee trucks to China, why Chinese people give themselves American nicknames, and argue about who is really oppressed these days. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.MackWeldon.com code: RaceWars) & Adam & Eve (Adam&Eve.com code: RACEWARS) Race Wars now has bonus episodes EVERY WEEK available exclusively on our Patreon page! Become a patron now for as little as $3 a month on www.patreon.com/racewars for access to the second half of this show and Kurt's one-on-one interview with comedian Brooke Arnold about her weird upbringing in the Quiverfull religion

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a stand-up labs production, powered by digital media.
0:06.5	Shariad.
0:07.1	Yeah.
0:07.6	You know what I'm thinking about right now?
0:08.7	Mac Weldon?
0:09.5	Yeah, my underpants.
0:10.5	I know it.
0:11.1	That's all you think about all day now that we got these Mac Weldon undergarments.
0:15.2	It's what I don't think about.
0:16.5	You see, my penis smells.
0:18.6	Okay. No, dude, I swear to God, this is my, this, of all this shit we ever got on this show, this underwear is the greatest.
0:28.8	Why?
0:29.1	It keeps it, first of all, it's boxer briefs, keeps its shape.
0:31.9	Yes.
0:32.3	Okay?
0:33.0	And it's antimicrobial.
0:34.6	What does that mean?
0:35.5	Well, okay, just living in New York with this awful-ass weather we have here.
0:39.0	By the end of the day, when you feel like you need like a second shower, just for your undercarriage.
0:44.7	Yeah, yeah.
0:45.9	These underpants keep on going.
0:47.3	They keep on going.
	...

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