WINNING!
Titus Podcast
Christopher Titus
4.6 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 23 October 2020
⏱️ 77 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of the Titus Podcast, Titus, Bombshell, The Hylinder rant about the PROLONGED winning we keep having! We're winning, right? Like how the Sturgis Super Spreader can win you a Harley. And how not wearing a mask can win you a lifetime supply of shiny new medical equipment. We also discuss this week's weird news and much much more, because there's just so much winning.
VOTE VOTE VOTE so we can actually, and non-sarcastically win!!
#TitusPodcast ... because the world is a clown show.
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For Christopher Titus tour dates, specials and merch visit: https://www.christophertitus.com/
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For The Hylinder music and merch visit: thewillingbureau.com
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey guys, this is the Highlander from the Titus podcast. |
| 0:11.1 | This episode is brought to you by Butcherbox. |
| 0:13.1 | Go to butcherbox.com to get your deal. |
| 0:15.6 | And now, here's Christopher Titus with the Armageddon Update. |
| 0:19.2 | Hey, everybody, I'm Christopher Titus. |
| 0:20.7 | And this is the Armageddon update. And let's deal with the new disinformation about COVID-19. This virus is a bitch people, and it's been on earth almost a year. And it's killed 1.2 million people. That's everyone in Montana and half of Wyoming. Native Americans just got sprung. That's for you guys. Yet there's this moron class out there that thinks it's a hoax or it's not that bad. |
| 0:42.3 | An ICU doctor recently, dressed like a frightened astronaut, said on CNN, I've heard so many last words as I put these people on a ventilator. |
| 0:51.3 | Just before the patient died, they looked at their nurse and they said, I think I made a mistake. |
| 0:57.9 | I thought this was a hoax, but it's not. |
| 1:00.7 | You know, we're nine months into COVID, people. |
| 1:02.8 | And this virus not only kills, but even if you don't die, there's a good chance. |
| 1:08.4 | You're going to have organ damage. |
| 1:10.4 | That's right. Lung damage, heart damage, brain |
| 1:12.9 | damage, also blood clots, vessel problems, which contributes to long-lasting problems with your |
| 1:17.2 | liver and your kidneys, which means you can't drink that much when the NFL finally gets |
| 1:21.1 | started again. You're going to have to pull around a lot of machines just so you can take a |
| 1:25.4 | piss. So go ahead, roll those dyes, people. It's COVID, |
| 1:29.2 | like Vegas, except with death. But if you survive it, there's more lifetime of fun |
| 1:35.2 | coming. Fatigue syndrome. That's right, a complex disorder of extreme fatigue that worsens |
| 1:40.2 | with physical or mental activity, but doesn't get better with rest. That's COVID-19. It's like someone giving you three toddlers to raise. Bonus. But then you might be one of the long haulers. No, you're not going to be running beer to Texarkana with Bert Reynolds. Hey, bandit, me and COVID-Frey got a question. Why's Trump letting all these people die? Well, why die? Well, I mean, he said nothing could be done. |
| 2:01.6 | Well, that's the reason, son. |
| 2:03.6 | I'm talking people who are having long-term fatigue, headaches, vertical, difficulties with cognition. |
... |
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