What does it mean to build a life that truly matters? In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer, former Air Force JAG officer, attorney, coach, trainer, husband, and dad, to talk about the experiences and values that shaped him. From growing up in a blue-collar family on Long Island to playing college football, serving in the military, and eventually leaving a successful legal career to pursue a different calling, Tom shares lessons on work ethic, purpose, fatherhood, and taking risks.

Along the way, they discuss the importance of showing up for your kids, the life lessons sports can teach, and why success on paper isn't always the same as fulfillment. This conversation will challenge you to think about the legacy you're building and the choices that matter most.

Episode Highlights:

• Why the best lessons in life often happen outside the classroom

• The impact of a father who always showed up

• How to pursue purpose over prestige and redefine success

Tune in for an honest conversation about work, family, calling, and what it means to live with intention.

Quotes from Tom Pfeifer:

"For me, it was a non-negotiable starting point. I'm just going to be there."

"Now I have margin in my life. On a Tuesday afternoon, I can block my calendar and just hang out with my kids."

"Everything you do has a cost."

"Every yes, every extra commitment, every extra dinner—that's time you're taking away from something else."

"Most kids just want somebody to say, 'I'm proud of you.'" 

At what cost do you continue doing something that looks successful on paper but leaves a void inside?" 

"When things are scarce in your life, you become hyper-focused on getting them." 

"Your kids aren't going to remember how hard you worked. They're going to remember that you were there." 

 

Time to Talk About it:

1. What is one area of your life where you're pursuing success, and what might it be costing you in your relationships, faith, or personal well-being?

2. When you think about the people who impacted you most growing up, what did they do that made you feel valued—and how can you offer that same gift to others today?

3. If your children, family, or closest friends described the legacy you're building right now, what would they say matters most to you? Is that the legacy you want to leave?