You may have an ideal path in your mind that doesn't mean it's going to be your path and you can't screw up your path because it's your path.

Welcome everybody to the Love Life podcast. I am Matthew Hussey and this is a clip from the archives that I think is really going to help you today.

Check it out and I'll speak to you at the end of the episode.

I think as a woman personally I think that being single when you want to be in a relationship and you're looking for love, being single at a certain point in your life is really hard.

It's unbelievably isolating and difficult and makes you feel like there is something wrong with you and it's scary as well.

So I think nobody is impervious to that feeling. Some people get lucky where they meet people when they're a little bit younger and maybe in their late 20s and they just hit that sweet spot of just meeting somebody they want to settle down with at a time that makes sense for you to settle down.

I think that let it just be said that nobody is impervious to how hard that is and how difficult it would be and I think if you find yourself in that situation, whoever you are you will have, as in the situation being you are single, you're looking for love, you want to be in a relationship and it's not going anywhere.

It's not finding that connection. I think that is an unbelievable, unbelievably difficult situation to be in and I don't think you can necessarily, you can do things to quiet in it but I think it is just an ongoing struggle because until you do meet someone you will have that fear that you're not going to.

If that's something you really want, you're essentially scared of not getting the thing that you really want which is terrifying, whatever area of your life.

But I think also realizing that everybody is kind of one breakup away or one situation away from being single and no one is safe in terms of no one is safe in their relationship, in their jobs, in their lives, in their looks, in anything, nothing is for certain.

So we're not completely alone when we're in that situation. It's not a case of like you're the freak over here who hasn't got what they want and everybody else does because no one is safe.

And that's what levels the playing field really. I mean we think that it's so uneven between people who are in relationships and people who are not but anything can change at any moment for anybody.

And does often. So there is a sense in which people are always entering and leaving the relationship room of life.

But I do think that people would benefit from separating the, because when we talk about single shaming, shaming is an interesting word.

There's fear mongering that is its own thing that's like someone taking your fear of being alone and amplifying it.

Shaming suggests there's something inherently wrong in what you're doing and that you should feel ashamed of the fact that you haven't found anyone.

That's the really, that's the kind of insidious part of what people do.

And I think that it's a step in the right direction simply to remove the shame from being single, even if you can't eradicate all of the fear of being single.

Because the fear of being single is a human thing. That's not I would argue a societal thing. That's a human thing.

What is lots of people fear being alone in many ways, like what if I lose all my friends or, you know, people don't, you know, whatever, people fear being isolated in certain ways, right?

Correct. Because if it's not being single.

And even if you remove the word fear from it, you can just have sadness. I may not be afraid necessarily, but I am sad.

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