Why Your Communication Type Matters with Jason VanRuler
Famous at Home
Josh + Christi Straub
4.8 • 667 Ratings
🗓️ 29 April 2026
⏱️ 31 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Our good friend, Jason VanRuler, started to see this pattern in many of the people he had come into therapy. Conversations between people -- where everything was at stake -- and the intentions were there, but someone inevitably walked away feeling hurt, unseen, or even abandoning the relationship altogether. What one person meant isn’t what the other person heard.
So Jason asked himself, “Why does it sometimes land well, and other times not?”
The more research he did, the more he learned predictable patterns that led to 5 primary communication types: Peace, Advocate, Thinking, Harbor, and Spark. Each one with a strength and each one with an opportunity. Not only that, each person has their own primary and secondary type.
In this episode, Jason unveils each type, how we develop our own, and how we can better understand how our spouse, kids, and loved ones communicate with us. We get into marital dynamics and why we usually marry someone with similar secondary type, but the trouble that can arise when we realize we don’t have the same primary one. We also talk about how knowing the types can help us communicate at a deeper level with our kids.
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:18 Jason VanRuler joins the show!
4:34 Why these communication types matters
6:00 Jason introduces the 5 PATHS of communication
11:16 Where our personal communication style comes from
14:05 Strengths and weaknesses of each communication type
20:20 The communication types in our children and how we give what we didn’t get
25:05 How different communication types serve us in marriage
Show Notes:
Get Jason’s new book Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships: https://amzn.to/4sZzbwc
Check out Jason’s website: www.jasonvr.com
Reserve your seat for Tender & Fierce Fall Cohort beginning August 17, 2026: https://www.famousathome.com/offers/V75F6bY2
Looking for a marriage intensive with Famous at Home? Apply now. https://www.famousathome.com/coaching
Men, sign up for the Living Legacy Cohort:
https://www.famousathome.com/menscoaching
Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter
Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Where we get this from is usually a response to our childhood. So if you think back to your family of origin and you think about your primary type, it's usually the thing your family needed. And that's not to say anything good or bad about your parents. It's just to say like, we kind of just adapt. That's right. And we go, hey, family needs a thinker. Someone needs to worry about the details. It ought to be me. Wow. Hey, you know, growing up in my family in the Midwest, you know, we're a little rigid, you know, we're all those things. And so we don't talk about emotions. So what did my family really need? Wow. Needed a guy to talk about emotions. Yeah. So I did. I took the job. And then we learned that. And it became your job. Yeah, and I'm great. |
| 0:38.7 | It's amazing. |
| 0:39.8 | But the short side of it is if I'm not careful, it becomes only that. |
| 0:45.5 | I won't lose hope in the night when the fire is growing down. |
| 0:53.1 | I'll just let it go |
| 0:55.0 | and I'll try, help me walk this road |
| 0:59.0 | and find my way back home. |
| 1:03.0 | Find my way back home. |
| 1:07.0 | Find my way back home. |
| 1:13.6 | I'm away home. |
| 1:18.2 | Welcome back to the famous film podcast. |
| 1:20.3 | I have a special friend with us today. |
| 1:23.2 | Jason Van Ruler. |
| 1:24.1 | Thanks for being here. |
| 1:25.0 | Thanks for having me. |
| 1:26.0 | This is amazing. |
| 1:26.9 | I'm so glad to be here. |
| 1:28.3 | We met about a year ago. Yeah. At a gathering and of colleagues of ours. And we've since |
| 1:37.4 | become becoming good friends and it's been so fun. It's been amazing. Yeah. And now you're |
| 1:43.6 | here in the cabin i'm here |
| 1:44.7 | in the cabinstead yeah which i love this this is this is awesome so uh i would love to start we are |
| 1:52.0 | famous at home yeah who we are you are famous at home am i i hope so i hope so why don't you tell us a little bit about your home? Yeah. Yeah. Family. Married, 20 years now. I've got three kids. And so 15, 12, and 10. So good. And they like me. They like me. So when I'm gone, they want me to come home and I want to come home. |
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