And so if I keep looking for them to change, I'm probably going to be stuck in this pattern for a really, really long time.

But if I do a quick about face and I just turn the mirror on myself and go, what am I doing here?

Why does this keep happening to me?

Then there's at least a better chance of being able to change things.

Welcome to the Ignited Recovery podcast, a new way forward for anyone looking for answers but feeling left out.

If you've been searching for empowerment, triumph, and purpose, you've found them right here.

You won't hear the same solutions and you're not going to have any excuses to fall back on

because Ignited Recovery allows heroes to rise and become their best selves.

I'm Dr. Adi Jaffe and I can't wait to be your guide on this journey.

Are you ready to become an ignited hero?

I don't know how many of you have heard that phrase. I really like this phrase, which is, you know, holding on a resentment against others is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. And what I mean by that is we hold on to the anxiety and the stress and the, the drama in our heads, irrespective of that other person, right? We can go to sleep with it. We can wake up with it. We can go to lunch with it. They're not even included most of the time. And it's a stressor that we hold on to. That's number one. Number two, for me, there's that piece about I think most people are doing their best at all times. I think most people don't really have ill will. They think they're right. And so do we. And so when we speak

ill of somebody else, we pretend that we're better than them in a lot of ways. That's number one.

But the other piece that is important is sometimes it allows us to not pay attention to our role in what's happening.

And if you've ever known anybody who seems to always blame other people for their misfortune and always blame other people for what's going wrong and always looks for other people to fix them.

And I've had friends like this in my life.

And I see friends like this in my wife's life and my kids lives and all over. There's always that question of what role are you playing? And I think we've all known people who don't think they play any role. And that to me is one of the most dangerous pieces of what we're talking about. I know this is a news for us, but sometimes we need to be reminded. None of us control anybody else. We control nobody else's actions. I don't even control my own damn kids' actions. I definitely don't

control my friends' actions. I definitely don't control your actions, right? And so the thing I have

the most control of in my life is how I show up. And if I'm having unhelpful, stressful,

anxiety-provoking, painful,addening, hurtful experiences with other people

on a regular basis. It pays much more dividends, many more dividends to pay attention what I'm doing

that is making that feasible, possible, and consistent in my life, than it is to look at what everybody else is doing

because I can't change people. And so if I keep looking for them to change, I'm probably going to

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