Why You're Attracted To People Who Reject You | Matthew Hussey

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 960 Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2025

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Matthew Hussey reveals why your nervous system confuses anxiety with attraction, making consistency feel boring while chaos feels like passion. He explains the childhood patterns that keep you chasing people who reject you and shares how to finally break the cycle.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:11.3	What is a woman truly saying if they say, I don't like nice guys?
0:16.1	They're saying that my nervous system does not produce the effect that I call love around people
0:28.2	who do not send it into some kind of fight or flight response.
0:36.3	It's,
0:37.1	there are, when I am met with someone who does not make me chase,
0:45.0	when I am met with someone who doesn't make me feel I have to earn their love,
0:52.7	when I am met with someone who doesn't play games, doesn't give me anxiety by being
1:00.9	consistent for three days and then dropping off the radar for five or a week, when I am with
1:08.6	someone who doesn't do those things, it doesn't feel like love to me.
1:14.0	It does not feel like passion.
1:16.0	It doesn't feel like fireworks.
1:17.8	It doesn't feel like the thing that I think I'm supposed to feel.
1:22.3	Wow.
1:23.0	And, you know, there's obviously so much knowledge now on where those things come from and that
1:31.2	there are old patterns in how we related or to our caregivers or our parents or how they related to
1:37.5	us that that gets us used to a certain pattern we get this nervous system imprint that is created at a very
1:48.1	early point in life and we spend the rest of our lives replicating that if we're not careful.
1:56.0	So the great kind of challenge, I think, for all of us.
2:01.1	And this is true, by the way, of men too, right?
2:06.9	How many men relentlessly chase off the women who don't seem to want them?
2:13.5	Right.
	...

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