Why You May Believe You're Unlovable
The Angry Therapist Podcast
John Kim
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 7 August 2023
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, John does a deep dive on why a lot of his clients (and people in general) believe they're unlovable whether that's from experiences from childhood, getting cheated on, being in multiple unhealthy relationships, and more.
Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best-selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.
Meet him at -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own |
| 0:04.3 | rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life |
| 0:08.9 | lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose |
| 0:16.2 | because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated. |
| 0:18.9 | So I'm working on my sixth book and I'm working on a chapter about infidelity. The book is about break-ups so it's tentatively titled |
| 0:34.6 | Breakthrough your breakup. Not my favorite title by the way I wanted you dodged a bullet |
| 0:39.9 | but the publishers had a problem with the word bullet which I totally understand so right as |
| 0:46.6 | of now breakthrough your breakup it's a little it's a little cute see right it's a little |
| 0:50.7 | daytime TV kind of. Anyway, I'm writing a chapter about infidelity and |
| 1:00.7 | client stories and a client in my book, she believes she's unlovable And I wanted to do this episode |
| 1:15.1 | about why people believe they are unlovable. |
| 1:20.0 | It's a very common false belief. you know of course there's no like color by |
| 1:26.0 | number way it's not like if x y and z happens then this is what you believe know, it's like when two people go say to war and they both experience trauma, |
| 1:38.0 | one person may come back with PTSD and the other person may not right so |
| 1:43.9 | This is not like a sure-fire recipe for |
| 1:48.8 | believing that you are unlovable as you become an adult |
| 1:54.7 | But they're just kind of broad strokes and something to think about because I believe so many I mean I've ran into so many clients who believe that they are unlovable. |
| 2:05.0 | And a lot of times, when you're in a relationship and you get cheated on, |
| 2:10.0 | I mean, yes, of course there's betrayal and hurt and, you know, anger and you can get blindsided, right? |
| 2:19.3 | But I think why cheating can, like if you're cheated on why it can be so much harder is not so |
| 2:30.6 | much what's on the surface of what happened, but what's running underneath. |
| 2:34.4 | And a lot of people who believe they're unlovable and they get cheated on, they internalize the cheating, meaning they wonder if they're defective or salvage, like what is wrong with me, you know, and a lot of times cheating isn't even about |
... |
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