Needs Are Foundational
The Angry Therapist Podcast
John Kim
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 9 August 2023
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, John and Vanessa discuss the importance of having and expressing your needs in a relationship as they drive on the freeway. They discuss their needs, how they communicate them, how they figure out what their needs are, and end the episode with a homework assignment for their listeners.
John and Vanessa are launching their second ever couples retreat on Sept 8-10th! Escape to Idyllwild, California, for an unforgettable weekend retreat tailored exclusively for couples. Nestled amidst nature's tranquil embrace, this retreat promises an enriching experience designed to strengthen your bond and foster deep connection. You can sign up and find out more information here: https://theangrytherapist.circle.so/c/inmiy-retreat-mainfeed/
Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best-selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.
Meet him at -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com
Join his private communities -> https://theangrytherapist.circle.so/home
Get his daily texts here -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com/text
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own |
| 0:04.3 | rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life |
| 0:08.9 | lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose |
| 0:16.2 | because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated. |
| 0:22.0 | So let me paint you a picture. We are on the freeway. It's 8 a.m. About to hit |
| 0:28.9 | rush hour traffic. Vanessa is in the passenger seat, quickly doing makeup because she's getting ready to spend some time |
| 0:38.5 | with friends that she hasn't seen in a long time. |
| 0:48.0 | Which brings me to our topic today and that is getting our needs met. Yeah going to see these friends is definitely fulfilling a need for me for sure. |
| 0:55.0 | So Vanessa being an extrovert, this is really important to her and for me, mean of course friends are important but I don't get the same |
| 1:06.7 | tingles I don't get the same high from that social engagement as Vanessa does and so you know what's what's |
| 1:19.1 | interesting about needs is you you really have to know yourself. |
| 1:24.0 | Good here, our Google Maps in the background. |
| 1:28.0 | Yeah, I mean, I think the introvert extrovert thing I came to realize like I don't know a few years ago probably when I was in grad school actually and and really started paying attention to actually how important that was for me and to make sure like |
| 1:44.4 | that's on me that's my responsibility to make sure I fulfill for myself like my partner can't |
| 1:48.6 | do that obviously you can't do that but what I will say and I've talked about this with a lot of people, you know, all of the shit that we've all dealt with with COVID. |
| 1:57.0 | I, in all seriousness, like we kind of joke about it, but in all seriousness, I don't think anybody has talked about how hard COVID was on extroverts like |
| 2:06.1 | well I think we're feeling the I think we're feeling it now it's almost like going through COVID |
| 2:12.1 | was let's just survive fight or flight and |
| 2:15.7 | now we're seeing the impact of it like we're seeing the you know the it's like |
| 2:20.6 | whiplash right you get into an accident and you're like oh I think I'm okay and then you know a week later you start feeling the pains. |
| 2:26.5 | Yeah well I also think that like you know for better or worse like I know a lot of people who are majorly introverted |
| 2:34.0 | who didn't struggle that much with having to be home for two years you know what I mean |
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