Why you get conned into the psychologically abusive relationship

Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

Mental Health, Lies, Emotional, Health & Fitness, Psychological, Society & Culture, Deception, Manipulation, Narcissism, Verbal, Abuse, Relationships

4.6 • 816 Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2019

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever wondered why you felt a connection with someone that turned out to be controlling and manipulative, you were probably manipulated from day one. And it's possible that person didn't even know they were doing it. In this special episode, I talk about how Robert Cialdini's six principles of influence can apply to the emotionally abusive relationship.

Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at loveandabuse.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.
0:07.4	You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
0:10.9	That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.
0:18.6	I'm your host, Paul Koliani.
0:30.9	Music power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Hey, welcome to another episode of love and abuse.
0:33.7	I have a special episode today.
0:36.8	It is on something that I read about, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago.
0:42.7	It was a book called Influence by Robert Chialdini. And he talks about these six principles of
0:50.9	influence and how we can become persuaded to do things that we wouldn't necessarily
0:58.3	do if we weren't persuaded. We might, but we wouldn't necessarily do it on our own without this
1:06.1	influential persuasion, if you want to call it that, in our lives. And I'm going to present
1:13.6	these six principles of influence from his book, from his research, and tell you how it applies to
1:21.0	a psychological or a psychologically abusive relationship. Whether you want to call it psychological
1:26.9	abuse, verbal abuse,
1:29.0	a manipulative relationship, or just a plain difficult relationship. These principles, I've noticed
1:36.0	there's a correlation in how an emotionally or psychologically abusive relationship forms
1:42.4	and why we get sucked in and feel so committed to something that is so toxic to us.
1:52.0	So I'm going to go over these principles right now and tie them in into the behaviors of an emotionally abusive person. And I hope you find it interesting, or at least as
2:03.8	interesting as I do, because once you know these, then you can avoid or at least do some preventative
2:12.1	maintenance so that you don't get trapped into a relationship because you were influenced to get into that
2:19.5	relationship. It's just an awareness. You want to open up your awareness to what is influencing you
2:26.9	and what behaviors someone else is doing to influence you to make them, make you, I mean, commit to them. And so, you know, there's a
	...

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