Why Validation Beats Agreement: Caroline Fleck's Revolutionary Approach to Human Connection
Guy Kawasaki's Remarkable People
Guy Kawasaki
4.6 • 667 Ratings
🗓️ 16 July 2025
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if the secret to better relationships isn't fixing problems but simply making people feel understood? Clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck reveals why validation—not agreement—transforms how we connect with others. In her groundbreaking book Validation, Caroline shares the science behind why feeling seen matters more than being right. Discover the eight-step validation ladder, learn why accepting emotions leads to real change, and find out how this revolutionary approach can improve your parenting, leadership, and relationships. Plus, hear Caroline's honest confession about missing a literal tick on her daughter's back and what it taught her about judgment versus understanding.
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Guy Kawasaki is on a mission to make you remarkable. His Remarkable People podcast features interviews with remarkable people such as Jane Goodall, Marc Benioff, Woz, Kristi Yamaguchi, and Bob Cialdini. Every episode will make you more remarkable.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It's valid that you want to protect them, but is helicoptering protecting them? |
| 0:03.9 | No, because they're not developing the skills they need to do with themselves. |
| 0:07.1 | So what you need to do is be able to step back and let them fall. |
| 0:11.6 | You have to trust in the wisdom that growth happens through quote-unquote failure, |
| 0:17.6 | that when you try and protect your kids from failure, you're ultimately protecting |
| 0:21.5 | them from growth. |
| 0:25.6 | I'm Guy Kawasaki. |
| 0:27.5 | This is the Remarkable People podcast. |
| 0:29.9 | And today is a special edition. |
| 0:32.1 | We're coming to you from Honolulu, Hawaii. |
| 0:35.1 | So what you see behind me is not a virtual background. That's a real background. |
| 0:40.1 | That is Waikiki. I'm near Diamond Head. I'm looking towards Waikiki the other way. The |
| 0:46.6 | other way, Diamond Head is that way. Queen Surf is that way. So I'm not here to be the Hawaii |
| 0:53.8 | Visitors Bureau. I'm here to help you be remarkable. |
| 0:57.5 | And we have found a very remarkable person. She is in California right now. If I were in California right now, |
| 1:05.0 | we'd be only about 20 miles apart, but now we're 2,500 miles apart. So our guest is Caroline Fleck. |
| 1:12.6 | And I gotta tell you, her book is the most interesting. |
| 1:16.6 | And I have to tell you, Caroline, I felt convicted in your book many, many times. |
| 1:21.6 | And yeah, I feel like I'm a bad parent, bad spouse, bad everything. |
| 1:26.6 | So anyway. No, no. So Caroline'm a bad parent, bad spouse, bad everything. So anyway. |
| 1:28.3 | No, no. |
| 1:29.3 | So Caroline is a clinical psychologist and her practice is really focused on emotional resilience and communication. |
... |
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