Why the "Just Be Yourself" Is a Terrible Negotiation Advice - Dr. Laura Sicola

Negotiate Anything

American Negotiation Institute

Education, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 748 Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't a lack of skill — it's your definition of authenticity? In this thought-provoking conversation, communication expert, TEDx speaker, and Speaking to Influence author Dr. Laura Sicola challenges one of the most common beliefs about personal growth: the idea that being authentic means staying exactly as you are. From navigating unexpected career pivots to breaking free from the "expert's curse," Laura shares why the most successful people aren't the ones with perfectly planned paths—they're the ones willing to embrace discomfort, adapt their communication, and take opportunities before they feel fully ready. Together, we explore why fear often disguises itself as authenticity, how mastering different communication "languages" expands your influence, and why your next breakthrough may be hiding on the other side of a conversation you're afraid to have. You'll discover: Why "How did you get where you are?" might be the wrong question The hidden danger of the expert's curse How to communicate complex ideas without sounding simplistic The difference between authenticity and comfort Why code-switching isn't inauthentic—it's a leadership skill The role of courage, curiosity, and transferable skills in creating extraordinary opportunities This episode is packed with practical insights, powerful stories, and mindset shifts that will challenge the way you think about growth, influence, and what it really means to be yourself. If you've ever felt stuck between who you are and who you're becoming, this conversation is for you. Connect with Dr. Laura Sicola 🌐 - https://laurasicola.com/ 📖 - Speaking to Influence: Mastering Your Leadership Voice TEDx Talks - Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right | Laura Sicola | TEDxPenn

Transcript

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0:00.0	What if the thing that you call authenticity is actually just fear wearing a disguise?
0:05.7	Today's guest is Dr. Laura Cicola, linguist, executive coach, and one of the sharpest minds
0:12.0	working at the intersection of communication, influence, and leadership.
0:16.5	The problem is that it's not really about authenticity. We use that word too often in inaccurate places.
0:25.4	It's about comfort zone.
0:27.1	You aren't comfortable with it.
0:28.5	You didn't like it.
0:29.7	It wasn't that you were being inauthentic to yourself as a human being.
0:35.1	Dr. Cicola spent years in academia mastering the art of sounding like an expert,
0:41.3	only to discover that the corporate world didn't want the cape.
0:45.3	They wanted the person who wore it.
0:47.3	That tension is where this conversation lives,
0:50.3	because most of us have been taught that growing means becoming someone that we're not.
0:55.8	But Laura has a different take.
0:58.8	It's not comfortable.
1:00.7	It doesn't mean it's inauthentic.
1:02.5	That's the difference.
1:03.4	If your desire to succeed in those contexts is authentic,
1:07.5	lean into the discomfort,
1:09.2	learn to gain skill at it,
1:13.0	and then incorporate those new skills into your this is me identity. I possess that too. Own it. That's the key to being authentic.
1:20.5	She breaks down a fascinating concept called the Prismatic Voice and why the most flexible
	...

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