Why Smart Women Stay in Toxic Relationships (And Ignore the Red Flags) | Dr. Anna Machin

Women of Impact

Impact Theory

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture

4.8 • 700 Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Craving love can connect us—or leave us vulnerable to harm we never saw coming. In this episode, I (Lisa Bilyeu) sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to peel back the science behind why we’re drawn to love, why it can blind us to red flags, and how manipulators like narcissists and psychopaths use our own biology against us. With fascinating research, actionable advice, and hard-earned empathy, Anna breaks down not only how we get trapped but also the precise path out—so you can reclaim your confidence, trust your instincts, and invite in the healthy love you deserve. SHOWNOTES How love can biologically blind you to manipulation—and what to do about it The “dark triad”: What makes narcissists, psychopaths, and Machiavellians so dangerous in relationships Why our brains shut down red flag detection at the euphoric start of falling in love The addictive chemistry of love: Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and beta-endorphin explained How emotional abusers isolate you and make you question your reality The real science behind jealousy, what it signals, and when it turns toxic Understanding attachment styles and why anxious-preoccupied types are more vulnerable What makes leaving so hard (hint: withdrawal and isolation) and how to rebuild your life afterward The crucial role of friends, support networks, and self-trust after an abusive relationship Hope after heartbreak: Why real, healthy love is still out there for you FOLLOW DR. ANNA MACHIN:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_annamachinWebsite: https://www.annamachin.comBook: “Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to the Most Fundamental Need” (available at major retailers) CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS OneSkin: Get 15% off with code LISA at ⁠⁠⁠https://oneskin.co ⁠⁠⁠ BIOptimizers: Code IMPACTNOW for 15% off ⁠⁠⁠https://bioptimizers.com/impact⁠⁠⁠ Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at ⁠⁠⁠https://shopify.com/lisa⁠⁠⁠ Macy’s: Upgrade your glam at ⁠⁠⁠https://macys.com⁠⁠⁠ SleepMe: Visit ⁠⁠⁠https://sleep.me/woi⁠⁠⁠ to get your Chilipad and save 20% with code WOI. Try it risk-free with their 30-night sleep trial and free shipping! Vital Proteins: Get 20% off by going to ⁠⁠⁠https://www.vitalproteins.com⁠⁠⁠ and entering promo code WOI at check out. FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact⁠⁠ Tik Tok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:31.9	What up my homies, I'm Lisa Billy and this is Women of Impat. Let's talk love, biology,
0:40.7	and the electric feeling when you first meet someone. It can feel like an addiction, right? Like you finally found your forever
0:45.8	and you just want more. But here's the truth bomb. The same chemistry that makes you full, head
0:50.6	over heel and heart in love, can actually also blind you to the dangers standing
0:55.3	right in front of you, because love isn't always the fairy tale, it can be the perfect trap.
1:00.3	The kind that hands a narcissist, a psychopath, are straight up manipulator, the exact tools
1:04.7	they need to mess with your head and keep you hooked for the long haul.
1:08.6	It's crazy, guys.
1:09.4	Let me just really think about that.
1:15.6	The thing, your biology that makes you fall in love is exactly the same thing that ends up getting you trapped. So how do we know the difference?
1:17.6	Well, that's why, of course, I brought on Dr. Anna Machen.
1:21.6	She's an evolutionary anthropologist who spent over a decade studying the science of relationships and human behavior.
1:28.3	And so today she's literally pulling back the curtain on why love can be the wind beneath your wings, but also it can be the weight around your ankle.
1:36.3	So we're diving into how love tricks your brain into ignoring the red flags. This is crazy. Like literally I had no idea. You've got to listen to this part. We also talk about the dark triad and why that is the worst flags. This is crazy. Like literally I had no idea. You got to listen to this part.
1:50.1	We also talk about the dark triad and why that is the worst personality combination you can ever possibly meet. And then why falling in love literally can feel like a drug and it keeps you
1:56.5	hooked even when it's not right for you. She then talks about how manipulators use jealousy, cheating, and false hope to keep you
2:04.0	exactly where you are, and the clear patterns that prove you're not crazy, it's just manipulation.
2:10.8	Now this is the real raw side of love most people don't actually talk about.
2:14.9	But if you've ever stayed longer than you really know you should have
2:17.8	or you doubted whether you're ever going to find something healthy again, then ladies, this
	...

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