Why Sex Feels Hard (& How to Make it Amazing Again), #600
Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Authentic Intimacy®
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 23 March 2026
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Many married couples carry a secret: one of them doesn't like sex—they may even dread it. For years, sex has felt more like obligation than pleasure, and they've quietly believed something must be wrong with them.
This week, we're tackling the unspoken question: "What if I'm married and I don't like sex?"
We'll talk about the real reasons sex can feel difficult or even painful, and call out a few common lies that keep couples stuck.
If you've ever felt confused, disappointed, or alone in your struggles with sex, this conversation offers hope, practical insight, and the reminder you don't have to stay where you are.
Co-host: Hannah Nitz
We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review.
Follow-up Resources:
Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up
Q&A: Past sexual trauma inhibits my ability to enjoy sex. Is there hope that I can heal? (video)
Q&A: Sex has never been pleasurable in our marriage. Should I fake it? (video)
Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery
God, Sex & Your Marriage by Juli Slattery
Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? by Juli Slattery
Restoring the Pleasure by Cliff & Joyce Penner
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Cliff & Joyce Penner
Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz
Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Java with Julie. |
| 0:03.9 | I am your host Julie Sladry, and this podcast is an outreach of authentic intimacy, |
| 0:09.1 | which is a ministry dedicated to helping you make sense of God and sexuality. |
| 0:14.1 | And that is what we're going to be doing today. |
| 0:16.9 | Hannah Knits is here with me. |
| 0:18.6 | So hi, Hannah. |
| 0:19.8 | Welcome back. |
| 0:20.5 | So glad to be here. For some reason, |
| 0:22.7 | you just keep calling me a lot of times in 2026 to be on. So I just keep showing up. |
| 0:27.7 | By popular demand. This is my year, baby. And actually, speaking of what's happening this year, Julie, |
| 0:33.7 | I don't even know if you read ahead to see this in your notes for today, but this is the |
| 0:38.7 | 600th episode of Java with Julie. Oh my goodness. That is a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. That is a lot |
| 0:46.8 | of hours of Java with Julie talking about sex on the microphone. I wonder how many of our listeners |
| 0:53.5 | actually were with us in the beginning. I know. Way back in the day. It was like 13 years ago when we started this. I know. So happy 600. Well, thank you. How would we like to celebrate? By doing another episode with you. Okay, great. Well, then here we are. I think by taking a nap, Hannah. I would love that. After this, we'll take a nap. But not before we get to work, because we are so excited that not only do you have 600 episodes of Java with Julie, but you have a new book coming out in June. It's actually a revised version of a book you already wrote. So I don't know. Are we allowed to call it a new book? |
| 1:45.6 | No, really. I don't know. It's a rewritten, semi-new book. My new book. 25 questions you're afraid to ask about love, sex, and intimacy. So our job between now and then is we're going to be asking, you're going to be answering a lot of these questions, Julie. some of the most common questions people ask, |
| 1:48.8 | kind of like a FAQ situation, if you will. |
| 1:53.9 | So today's question, drum roll please, one of the most popular questions you get asked, |
| 1:56.4 | time and time and time and time again. |
| 2:01.3 | She's been asked this on boats, on cruises, on land, by sea, everywhere. In the airplane. |
| 2:02.2 | In the airplane. |
| 2:03.1 | Yes. |
| 2:04.4 | What if I'm married and I don't like sex? |
... |
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