Hi! You're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about the importance of rest. You probably realize that recharging your batteries

is good for you. But did you know it's good for your relationship?

We're not talking about just taking a nap.

Resting can mean whatever refreshes your mind, body, and spirit. Is it getting lost in a good book? Talking to your best friend for an hour? Working in the garden. Going online and

adding things to your shopping cart, just to delete them later. While it's not

important what it is that you find relaxing, what's important is that you take time to rest. If you don't,

you'll limit your own capacity for empathy, positivity, creativity, and rationality. Among other things,

you can't show up as your best self for your partner without first checking in

and showing up for yourself. So give yourself permission to rest. Don't feel bad about it. Is your

house a mess? Is your to do list overflowing? We're here to tell you, it can wait. Take the time and space

you need to recharge. It's okay if it means being less productive

in that moment. On the flip side, don't expect your partner to be able to do it all either.

Rest is an essential human need, and you can support one another and making sure you both

stop to rest, even if it's just for a few moments. So go take that nap if that's what makes

you feel better, or take a

bubble bath and blare your favorite music. Stop feeling guilty and start singing. We bet you and your

relationship will be a whole lot better for it. Here's today's small thing. Create a rest ritual

together with your partner. Make it a dedicated time once a day, or even once a week, to drop everything and rest.

You can even call it dear time.

Get it?

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