Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about how to embrace ambiguity. How much do you worry about tomorrow? In these unprecedented times, so many people are feeling stress and anxiety about the

future. We know. It's overwhelming. But the fact is, even before the pandemic swept the world,

no one could be sure of the future with 100% certainty. It just isn't possible. So what do you do

with this scary kind of limbo of not knowing what's

around the corner? This ambiguity about your life, your relationship, or your future. Do you consult an

astrologer, a tarot card reader, your friend's cousin's boyfriend's psychic mom who your friend just

swears will give you peace of mind. Nope. Save your money.

The key to dealing with the fear, the scariness of the future, is to embrace the feeling. Yep.

Embrace ambiguity. What does that mean? Simply this. Don't run from it, but instead lean into it.

Don't turn away from it, but instead turn towards it.

Don't keep those scary feelings inside, but instead share them.

Here's some specific tips.

First, realize and understand that what you're feeling is uncertainty. Name it. Once it has a name,

it's easier to deal with, and then accept it and begin to move forward. Next, realize that it's

totally okay to have these feelings. Everyone has them to some degree or another. Now, talk about it. Open up. Share your perspective with your

partner. Take these thoughts and feelings out of the deep recesses of your mind and air them out into the

open. Then, reframe your fears. If you see change coming down the road, try seeing it as an opportunity

for the future.

Don't hold tightly onto life, trying to keep it the way it's always been.

Instead, let go of what is no longer serving you or your partner.

And finally, whatever the change in your life, find meaning in the outcome, realize that you are not alone. Look around. Most of us are right there with

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