Why Rejection is SO Painful

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about the painful emotion of rejection. They discuss why rejection stings so badly, how to reframe and depersonalize rejection, logic vs. emotion when it comes to rejection, why it can make many of us shut down, how to start to get more comfortable with rejection, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 6 minutes to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. Rejection TED Talk mentioned in the episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Leesa: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠Leesa.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ for 25% off a mattress PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code shrinkchicks, exclusive for our listeners Headspace: For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to ⁠⁠Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60⁠⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days! Green Chef: Head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠Greenchef.com/50SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code 50SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Quince: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order Greenlight: Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at greenlight.com/shrinkchicks

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:05.1	Rejection can signal a threat to our social bond.
0:08.8	And from like an evolutionary perspective, our brains are wired to avoid it.
0:14.0	Right.
0:14.3	Like we survive by having social connections, having social bonds.
0:20.1	And so our brains are wired to say, okay, if you're being rejected or shunned from a community, by having social connections, having social bonds.
0:24.7	And so our brains are wired to say, okay, if you're being rejected or shunned from a community, your brain is telling you like, you're not safe.
0:40.3	Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks. Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
0:45.6	I'm Emily Beirley.
0:46.7	And I'm Jennifer Chakin.
0:48.0	And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
0:51.9	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice
0:56.7	with down-to-earth therapists just like us.
0:59.4	Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself.
1:06.6	Hi, Jen.
1:07.9	Hi, Em.
1:09.1	How are you doing?
1:09.9	I'm doing well. How are you? Great. Happy to be at Westchester Studios. Always. Hi, M. How are you doing? I'm doing well.
1:10.9	How are you?
1:11.7	Great.
1:12.0	Happy to be at Westchester Studios.
1:13.4	Always.
	...

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