Self-Sabotage & Why We Do It

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 23 June 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about self-sabotage and why we do it. They discuss how to identify if you’re self sabotaging, the different ways self-sabotage can present itself, if they consider themselves self-sabotagers, self-criticism vs. self-compassion, how self-sabotaging behaviors can be a protective mechanism, avoidance, fear of failure and discomfort, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 7 minutes to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Leesa: Go to ⁠⁠⁠Leesa.com⁠⁠⁠ for 25% off a mattress PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code shrinkchicks, exclusive for our listeners Headspace: For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to ⁠Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days! Green Chef: Head to ⁠⁠⁠Greenchef.com/50SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠ and use code 50SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Quince: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:04.8	Someone wrote, in what way is this protective?
0:07.8	Can you help me to understand that piece of it?
0:10.4	Yes, we absolutely can.
0:12.2	Self-sabotage is actually a coping mechanism, right?
0:15.1	It's like if we have this fear of rejection or failure, you might be saying like, okay, well, if I don't try, then I can't
0:23.7	fail. It's the same thing with rejection, right? Like if I don't, you know, apply for this job,
0:29.0	then I can't get rejected. Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.
0:42.7	Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
0:47.9	I'm Emily Beerley.
0:49.0	And I'm Jennifer Chakin.
0:50.2	And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
0:54.1	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
0:58.9	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us.
1:01.4	Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself.
1:09.0	Hi, Jen.
1:10.2	Hi, I am. We were just recording and we didn't realize it. We had no idea. Back at Westchester Studios, still to be here. Okay. Are you ready? I'm so ready. What's something that feels derogatory but isn't an example like a GPS interrupting the best part of the song.
1:28.4	That that is derogatory.
1:30.2	No, yo.
1:31.0	That was a very good example.
1:32.2	Really good.
1:32.6	Okay.
	...

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