Why Prioritizing Sexual Pleasure Makes You Healthier (Backed by Science) | ft. Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Join the SmartSX Membership: https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/ In this data-packed episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily sits down with social psychologist and Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller to break down what science actually tells us about our sexual fantasies, kinks, and casual hookups. This conversation is full of insights that will make you rethink what's "normal" in bed, and help you embrace your desires with more compassion and clarity. Dr. Lehmiller reveals the most common sexual fantasies (hint: kink is more mainstream than you think) and explains what our fantasies say about our emotional needs and life history. We explore the truth about gender differences in fantasies, how to safely explore kink and consensual non-monogamy, and research on why some people thrive with casual sex while others don't. This episode covers practical tips for talking about fantasies with your partner without shame or pressure, plus why self-awareness (not fantasy content) is the key to sexual fulfillment. Whether you're curious about exploring fantasies, navigating open relationships, or just want to understand the psychology of desire, this conversation brings research and real talk together in a way that's both validating and thought-provoking. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction & The Kink Revolution 4:07 - Fantasy vs Reality: The Threesome Gap 11:43 - Why Gay Men Have Better Threesomes 18:17 - What Gay vs Straight Men Really Have in Common 25:04 - The Kinsey Scale & Sexual Fluidity Explained 31:20 - Friends with Benefits: What Actually Works 35:00 - The Couples Vibrator Study Results 37:45 - Dutch Sex Education: What America Gets Wrong 44:13 - How to Talk to Kids About Masturbation 48:51 - Quickfire Questions: Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs & Sex Advice

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	One of the key things we saw in that research was that for the people who managed after that year to still be on good terms with their friends with benefit, they had the communication in the beginning.
0:09.2	They set the ground rules, got on the same page about what their expectations were. What is this and what isn't this?
0:16.4	You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.
0:24.2	Are you suddenly feeling a little kinkier?
0:26.4	Well, according to my guest, social psychologist and Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Laymiller,
0:32.2	a lot of us are ready to experiment right now.
0:35.3	Justin shares fascinating sex research from the COVID era, including why
0:39.6	Americans have become significantly more sexually adventurous with over half trying something
0:45.4	new in bed since the pandemic began. We dive into the sex communication practices, heterosexual
0:51.3	individuals can learn from the LGBTQ plus community and how to make
0:56.0	casual sex better for women. Spoiler alert, emphasize her pleasure. We also explore the Kinsey
1:02.6	scale and why sexuality is so fluid, why threesomes are such a popular fantasy, and what our
1:08.5	porn preferences reveal and don't reveal about us. Plus, we discuss
1:12.9	sex education as it's practiced in the Netherlands and get incredibly useful tools for talking
1:17.5	to your kids about sex. Dr. Justin Laymiller is a social psychologist and research fellow at
1:23.1	the Kinsey Institute. He runs a Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of
1:29.0	Tell Me What You Want, the science of sexual desire and how it can help you improve your sex
1:34.4	life. He's an award-winning educator, prolific researcher, and leading voice in sexuality research
1:40.6	and education. My intention is to give you some of the latest sex studies
1:44.6	so you realize you're not alone in wanting to expand your sexual horizons and show you that
1:50.2	better communication really is the key to everything. All right, everybody, enjoy this episode
1:55.1	with Dr. Justin Laymiller. Hi, Justin. So good to have you back on the show, and you've been busy.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 27 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sex With Emily, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Sex With Emily and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.