Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new

No Bad Kids Master course.

You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.

Welcome to Unruffled.

Today I'm responding to an email from a parent who's feeling very conflicted about what

she calls an occasional hand-swat.

In the circumstances of her lifestyle, which she says includes a lot of wood-burning

stoves, she's wondering if that sort of interaction with her 14-month-old can coexist with respectful

parenting.

Here's the note that I received.

Hi Janet, I feel almost evil asking you this question because I feel like it would be

such a no-no in gentle parenting.

I guess I haven't really seen you address a hand-swat specifically, so I don't really

know your take on it, but I can only guess.

I have to say that I'm in almost total agreement with pretty much everything that comes out

of your mouth.

I love the idea of accepting our children's feelings and empowering them to handle themselves

instead of micromanaging them.

I pretty much follow the ideas in your toddler books to a T.

That being said, I still feel a little torn between two worlds.

My parents occasionally used a swat on my sister and me when I was growing up, and I don't

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