Why Nice Girls Finish Last: The 8 Step Playbook for Women Who Are DONE Being Overlooked | Dr. Thema Bryant PT 1

Women of Impact

Impact Theory

Education, Society & Culture, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 9 July 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this powerful episode of Women of Impact, Lisa Bilyeu welcomes the trailblazing psychologist, author, and current President of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Thema Bryant. Renowned for her expertise in trauma recovery and healing, Dr. Thema joins Lisa to dive into the realities of heartbreak, betrayal, and emotional pain—and, most importantly, how to begin rebuilding your sense of self after it all feels shattered. Dr. Thema unpacks why recognizing and accepting our pain is the first step toward genuine healing, dismantling the lies we’ve been told about ourselves, and stepping out of shame and denial. From discussing the damaging waiting game for an apology, to offering insights from narrative therapy, she guides listeners to reclaim agency in their lives and shift their internal narratives. If you’ve struggled with toxic hope, anger, or the burden of forgiveness, this episode is packed with essential truths to help you break free. SHOWNOTES 00:00 What to do when your heart is broken 00:32 The importance of admitting you're hurting 01:32 The danger of denial and how it feeds shame 02:32 Healing and the ripple effect on your relationships 03:11 Surrounding yourself with the right people 03:29 Why waiting for an apology keeps you stuck 04:41 Restorying your life through narrative therapy 05:46 Moving from “why” to “what now” 06:17 Dismantling core negative beliefs 07:11 How to detect the lies you’ve absorbed 08:31 The “hope as handcuffs” trap 09:26 Differentiating between joint and solo hope in relationships 10:45 Recognizing empty words vs. changed behavior 11:47 The double-edged sword of anger and revenge 12:22 Constructive vs. destructive anger 13:49 Breaking the revenge spiral and centering yourself 16:06 Real-world examples of holding on to old wounds 17:05 External messages and body image: it's not all your fault 18:30 Forgiveness redefined: forgetting, speed, and reconciliation FOLLOW DR. THEMA BRYANT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.thema Website: https://www.drtaymabryant.com Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS Vital Proteins: Get 20% off by going to https://www.vitalproteins.com and entering promo code WOI at check out. SleepMe: Visit https://sleep.me/woi to get your Chilipad and save 20% with code WOI. Try it risk-free with their 30-night sleep trial and free shipping! Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/lisa OneSkin: Get 15% off with code LISA at https://oneskin.co ********************************************************************** LISTEN TO WOMEN OF IMPACT AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS:⁠ ⁠ ⁠apple.co/womenofimpact⁠ ********************************************************************** FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact⁠ Tik Tok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:15.9	With customizable templates and smart features, it saved me endless hours.
0:20.8	And the best bit, it's free. Search for
0:24.8	Adobe Express to find out more and get started today. If the love of your life lied to you,
0:34.2	if your best friend betrayed you, if a parent made you feel unworthy, that heartbreak,
0:40.0	it doesn't just hurt, it shakes your self-esteem all the way to its freaking core. And you start
0:46.2	to just ask yourself, was I not enough? Did I miss the sign? How do I trust again? Especially,
0:53.0	how do I trust myself? Well, I'm Lisa Bilu, and this is
0:56.0	Women of Impact, and this is the show that you come to to unpack all of that emotional
1:00.2	mess with confidence, with bad artery, with me, your host, reaching out my hand to pick you back
1:08.1	up, because ladies, it is okay to fool, it is not okay to
1:11.4	fricking stay there.
1:12.9	And so today's guest is, oh my God, I'm so excited, is Dr. Thamer Bryant, the world-renowned
1:18.7	psychologist, trauma expert and author of matters of the heart.
1:22.3	And she's here to walk us through what betrayal, abandonment and rejection actually does to us and how we can put the pieces
1:29.2	back together and make sure that no one has that power over us again. Now today we're talking
1:35.2	about why rejection feels like it's a threat to your whole damn nervous system. I know it doesn't
1:41.0	feel it, it just feels sad, it just feels like no one wants you. But it's way
1:45.1	more than that. And we dive into how we also talk about how betrayal actually impacts your
1:50.4	identity and your self-worth and how to make sure you're able to get past it. And then we go on
	...

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