Hey everyone. Welcome back to heal, survive, and thrive, the podcast where we talk about healing,

personal growth and thriving after difficult relationships. I am your host, Stephanie. And today,

we're going to dive into a topic that I know a lot of you guys have probably kind of wrestled

with in your minds, especially when you're ending these relationships or maybe even possibly

if you've been discarded. And that is, why don't narcissists change or do they change or who they change for?

And perhaps even more importantly, why do we really obsess over this idea that they might be changing

for someone else? This is something that you can just get stuck on and ruminate for a really long time. So this

episode is going to hit really deep for a lot of you because we're going to be unpacking the wounds

that are going on inside of you. And this is painful stuff. And these recurring thoughts that we have,

they just continuously give us that like gut-wrenching feeling that maybe we just weren't good enough.

So grab a cup of tea, take a deep breath, and let's get into it.

The first thing that I really want to address is the big question that we all ask when we're

coming out of these relationships, especially if you've been discarded, is why don't narcissus change? Because it doesn't seem normal. So you're telling

me that literally this person's never going to change. It just doesn't make sense. So the short

answer is that narcissists really, they lack two things. And these two things are needed for

change to actually happen. So they lack self-awareness and they lack being able to take accountability.

So change requires them to reflect on their behavior, acknowledge how it impacts others, and

actively start doing something to improve themselves.

That's how change actually happens with anyone.

A narcissist, however, are often stuck in a cycle of deflecting blame, manipulating

others, and just thinking about their own needs and their own wants, i.e. narcissistic

supply.

...