Welcome to the Girl on Top ShalinXO podcast.

I'm your host Shalin Lester and you might know me from my YouTube channel,

where I analyze celebrity relationships and scandals for the lessons we can take into our own lives.

But here on the podcast, I answer the best questions you submitted over the past week.

Gotta love quandry? Head to my website, shalinlester.com, to get connected, and also shop my merch and take

some fun quizzes. Be sure to rate and review this podcast if you like it, and follow me on Instagram at

ShaolinXO and find me on YouTube for four new videos a week.

Welcome back Shalogators. Well, we're going to do something a little bit different for the first half of this podcast. We're going to kick off a new Shal Literature Book Club selection.

Now, we did Shale Literature, which is what we call our book club, because you know I love

a pun and branding my name. Hey, why would I not? Back in December when we all read three women by Lisa Todayo, and we didn't really get to discuss it as much as we wanted to. The holidays got here and I just, I dropped the ball. I'm a bad person. I'm so sorry. But this book that we're going to read next, I've already read. I have read it so many times I refer to it as the Bible.

Why Men Love Bitches. This book has truly changed my outlook on dating and even friendship and just

how I move through the world. And when you hear the title, you're like, why men like bitches?

I don't want to be a bitch and I don't want people to call me a bitch. All right. You just give me a few minutes here. And we're going to read the introduction together because the author, Sherry Argoff, she really gives a good explanation about why she uses this term and what it actually means. And it doesn't mean what society tells us. It means. It means something good. It means something strong and something healthy. So in the next

few weeks, I want you guys to download or pick up this book. I mean, you can get it used probably for

like two bucks or something. It's been out forever. And I want you to read it. And truly, if you

only read the introduction or if you only replay this podcast and listen to the introduction,

it is still going to change your life. Because we've all

been in this situation where we just feel so depleted by dating, by guys. And at the end of the day,

by our own behavior, if we're being honest, which sucks, because it's so much better and easier

on our hearts and our psyche to be like, it's a guy's fault, it's this person's fault. Well, girl, who's the common denominator? Is it you? Is it me? Probably. It's our own behavior. And true, we can't control what other people do. We can't control if a fuck boy is ever going to grow up, if someone's going to stop cheating on us, if a friend is going to plug in and be who we need. But we can control how much we are hemorrhaging

in their direction. And sometimes it is a hemorrhage. It is something that is draining us and

killing us and we aren't even realizing it. So we're going to get into some normal shaligator

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