Why Is It So Hard to Say No?

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are back to recording in person at West Chester Studios and unpacking the difficulty behind saying no. They discuss our fears about saying no, why we tend to believe others are going to react negatively to our “no," the resentment that arises when we ignore our boundaries, preferring internal distress over external distress, what we get wrong about boundaries, pausing before saying yes, why discomfort does not equal danger, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 6:30 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. ⁠Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠ Our ⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Headspace: Go to ⁠Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to ⁠prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠ to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Prose: See the difference custom care can make with 50% off your first haircare subscription order at ⁠prose.com/shrinkchicks⁠ Mint Mobile: Shop plans at ⁠mintmobile.com/shrinkchicks⁠ Quince: Go to ⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: Go to ⁠spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks⁠ and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:04.7	When we say yes to other people, we then betray ourselves in a lot of ways.
0:10.8	Well, it's funny, though, that we're so much more comfortable with experiencing internal distress than external distress, right?
0:18.1	So it's like, oh, goodness, God forbid that I upset Jen
0:21.1	and that there's some issue between us,
0:23.2	I'll just wear myself ragged.
0:25.1	Right.
0:25.5	Like, I'd rather betray myself than upset someone else
0:31.0	or make someone else uncomfortable.
0:37.3	Music Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.
0:45.5	Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
0:50.6	I'm Emily Beerley.
0:51.7	And I'm Jennifer Chacon.
0:53.0	And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
0:57.1	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us.
1:04.3	Your session is starting.
1:05.4	So get ready to know yourself and grow yourself.
1:11.6	Hey, Jen. Hey, Jen.
1:12.6	Hey, M.
1:13.7	We're back in prison.
1:15.0	So weird, isn't it?
1:16.3	It's only been three years.
	...

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