Hey Allison Stoner here, author of semi-well-adjusted despite literally everything.

When I was writing my memoir, I found a box of journals detailing my vulnerable past experiences.

These are diaries from my younger self.

This is a diary entry on worrying about not wanting children, wondering if there's something wrong with

myself for that. I had to be around age 19 or 20, I think. It was probably around my first breakup

because I know he wanted to start a family and I just kept thinking like, oh my gosh, this is not

anything that's been on my mind.

So this is a diary entry from my younger self.

Sometimes I feel broken for not wanting children,

as if I have some sort of biological defect

for not wanting to propagate the species. I feel guilty for not carrying on a family name.

I mean, I'm already failing by being female in that regard,

and my parents didn't have any sons.

Maybe I am irreparably selfish or something, a coward for not wanting to grow up and take

responsibility and put my dreams aside. I keep waiting until I heal enough and then it'll click

that it was just left over fear from not having a functional home

or an example of parents who stayed together and loved each other

or because I didn't even get my childhood so I'm just worried

I don't know the first thing about providing that to someone else.

But I am healing.

I really feel that and nothing about this is changing.

So what?

...