Why Good Relationships Are the Key to Living a Long and Happy Life with Robert Waldinger

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Education, Self-improvement, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.6 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Robert Waldinger explores why good relationships are the key to living a long and happy life. Drawing from more than 85 years of research, Robert shares why deep, supportive relationships are stronger predictors of health and happiness than wealth, success, or status. He also explains how relationships regulate stress, why loneliness can be as harmful as smoking, and how we can proactively cultivate social fitness. Listeners will walk away with practical ways to strengthen existing relationships, build new ones, and approach connection as an essential practice for well-being.

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Key Takeaways:

The significance of relationships for health and happiness.
Insights from the Harvard Study of Adult Development on what constitutes a good life.
The complexities and challenges of living well despite societal pressures.
The impact of loneliness and social isolation on physical and mental health.
The critique of cultural messages equating happiness with material success.
The importance of self-acceptance and acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of oneself.
Strategies for nurturing and maintaining meaningful relationships.
The role of curiosity in enhancing social connections and overcoming discomfort.
The intersection of scientific research and Zen practice in understanding human well-being.
The concept of “social fitness” and the ongoing effort required to cultivate relationships.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Robert Waldinger, check out these other episodes:

The Midlife Makeover: Redefining Success and Happiness After 40 with Chip Conley

The Happiness Formula: Using Your Body to Transform Your Mind with Janice Kaplan

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Transcript

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0:00.0	We know so much about people that if we want to look at what predicts who's going to live longer and stay healthier, it's going to be blood pressure, it's going to be cholesterol, it's going to be those things.
0:10.7	And what we began to find was that the strongest predictors were how satisfied we feel in our relationships with other people.
0:32.9	Welcome to the one you feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.
0:40.2	And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity,
0:46.2	self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things
0:52.7	that hold us back and dampen our spirit
0:54.8	but it's not just about thinking our actions matter it takes conscious
0:59.8	consistent and creative effort to make a life worth living this podcast is about
1:04.9	how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction how they feed
1:08.9	their good wolf.
1:17.6	Imagine boiling down eight decades of science into one lesson. That's exactly what Robert Waldener has done as director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development.
1:23.6	His answer is simple but not easy.
1:25.6	Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.
1:29.3	In our conversation, we explore why difficult marriages can be worse for your health than divorce.
1:35.3	Boy, do I know this one. How to rebuild connection when you feel isolated and what social fitness looks like in real life.
1:43.3	We also touch on Zen practice and the power of attention, what one teacher called the most
1:48.9	basic form of love.
1:50.6	If you've been wondering where to invest your limited time and energy, this episode offers
1:55.7	the clearest evidence I've seen.
1:57.9	I'm Eric Zimmer, and this is the one you feed. Hi, Bob. Welcome to the show. Thank you.
2:03.4	Great to be here. I'm really excited to have you on. We're going to be discussing your book,
2:07.4	The Good Life, Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. And we also might
	...

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