The promise that I issue to you is that by one o'clock today, you will know more than you do now.

LBC 97.3 Mystery Hour with James O'Brien.

Four minutes after 12, this is LBC 97.3. And this is Mystery. My, well, I should say my favourite part of the week,

because it usually is, but it's the only reliably favourite part of the week, because it's the

only thing on the programme that you can guarantee will come around on a weekly basis. If you're

new to it, it's the radio equivalent of those newspaper columns where readers send in their queries, their inquiries,

and other readers give them satisfaction, except it's a lot more fun than that, a lot more

exciting and a lot more interesting. It is, well, you work it out yourself. 0845-606060973.

Any question at all, the only reason that you won't be allowed to take part is if your question is boring and I'm afraid our decision is final, or if your question has been asked and hopefully answered relatively recently. So it's repetition and dullness are the only grounds for exclusion. And we are quite strict about this, albeit entirely arbitrary,

nebulous and subjective. So hit the numbers now. You will get through. It's five minutes

after 12. Whenever you hear me say the number, it means that there is at least one phone line

free into the building. If you don't hear me say the number for a while, it means it's busy.

0845-60-60973 is the number to call. If you hear

somebody else ask a question to which you do know the answer, then obviously we need you to get

stuck in as well. Otherwise, you run the horrible risk of hearing me attempt in a pompous and

largely ill-informed fashion to answer every question that is presented. And I can't stress enough how far

apart the goalposts are. Who, why, where, when, whither, when, wherefore, whatever the question

may be, hopefully somebody will be able to provide you with an answer. Okay? You can email and text

if you must. Chances are I'll completely ignore you. I make no

apology for that. We're so busy on the phones that we have to almost exclusively devote ourselves

to them. So if you hear me say the number, it means I've got a phone line free. If you hear a question,

you know the answer to, please, even if the idea of ringing a radio station strikes terror

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