Why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 24 January 2023

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode I talk with Tamee and answer the question “Why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no?” Tamee shares that even though she knows she isn’t responsible for making sure her children are always happy, she feels responsible whenever they have a negative response to hearing no.Tamee grew up in a house where she felt unsafe, uncomforted, and even invisible at times. Little Tamee was driven by fear, and she may be directing the way Adult Tamee parents. We discuss how her di...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.5	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them with tools to find healing.
0:45.0	I'm so excited to welcome Tammy to the podcast today. Welcome, Tammy.
0:49.7	Hi, thank you for having me. Thanks for being here. What is your question for me today?
0:55.9	So the question I had was, why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no?
1:02.9	And they have, you know, like a negative response.
1:06.1	They get Moby or something.
1:07.3	And then I feel responsible.
1:09.5	I just want them to always be happy. But I know that's not realistic, but it's still hard.
1:14.6	Yeah.
1:15.0	Yeah.
1:15.7	So where do you think you learned that your kids, like it's your job to keep your kids happy?
1:21.7	I'm not sure.
1:22.6	I grew up in a family where that definitely wasn't happening for me.
1:27.3	And so I don't know if I'm compensating because I didn't get that.
1:31.1	I'm just like, no, no trauma for them.
1:33.8	You know, like all those issues before they ever happen.
1:37.9	Okay.
1:38.3	Okay.
	...

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