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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Why Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.615.3K Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult. I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing. She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist. Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood. This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me. It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past. I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me. And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either. Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult. The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do. This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here. I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids. And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults. Xo Mel PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey. Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma. 8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that? 9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories. 11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?” 15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera. 17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one? 24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood. 28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself? 35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system? 37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event? 44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind. 53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this. Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to a very memorable episode of the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:07.0

Hey, I'm Mel Robbins. I'm so fired up that you're here. I'm a New York Times bestselling

0:19.0

author and one of the most trusted experts in the world on behavior change and motivation.

0:23.8

And I'm also just noticing that whenever I get on the microphone, literally while the

0:29.2

drums are beating and the show is about to open, my voice drops like an active, I feel

0:35.4

like I get the stuff in my throat, but that is not what the show is about today. This

0:39.9

show is about something really important. It is something that's really personal to

0:45.2

me. It's something that I was really, it's not that I was struggling with this. I was

0:49.4

really confused by something. And the topic is about memory. And I wanted to talk to you

0:55.3

about this today because the last episode that we dropped was all about the nervous system,

1:01.2

how you calm your nervous system, nervous system repair, dysregulation, and also trauma.

1:07.4

And the episode was like a runaway train. It's unbelievable how many of you listen to it

1:14.3

and it is already one of the most shared episodes that we've done. And of course, what happened

1:19.3

is you had a ton of questions about trauma and about your nervous system. And here's

1:24.4

one thing I want you to understand. If you are breathing right now, you have trauma.

1:31.1

No question. There is no way that you can get through childhood and not experience some

1:37.8

kind of trauma because trauma is just a situation that is either small or it is enormous and

1:46.0

terrifying. A situation that makes your nervous system go on high alert. So whether your

1:53.8

trauma comes from a childhood where you felt unseen, unheard or unloved or your trauma

1:59.2

comes from some major catastrophic accident or some violent crime or physical harm or a

2:07.2

tour of duty, you are experiencing moments where life triggers you and your nervous system

2:14.7

goes on alert and then you have an emotional response. This is something that we all deal

...

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