Welcome to Narcissist Apocalypse, everyone. I am Brandon Chadwick and today we will be talking

about something that a lot of survivors struggle with and that is about setting boundaries.

We talk a lot about setting boundaries, about why boundaries matter, why you need boundaries,

how to do it.

But for a lot of people out there, setting the boundary is not actually the hardest part.

The hardest part is surviving the feeling that comes after, and that feeling is guilt,

because sometimes setting a boundary doesn't feel empowering. It doesn't feel like this big liberating moment because you're also feeling awful

at the same time. Sometimes it feels mean and sometimes it feels like you're the one that did

something wrong even when all you

did was say no or ask for space or stop participating in something that was hurting you and

someone might think if this boundary were healthy would it would it feel this bad if i were being

fair would i feel this guilty right now?

Guilt is not always a sign that you've harmed someone. Sometimes guilt shows up because you

finally stopped doing what kept someone else comfortable for a very long time. Sometimes it shows up

because you were trained slowly and

repeatedly either throughout your life or in this relationship to feel bad for having limits at all.

And that's what we're going to get into today, why boundaries can feel guilty, selfish, or just

plain wrong, especially for survivors who spent years in relationships or families where their

role was to absorb, accommodate, explain, smooth everything over, and just stay accessible

no matter what the cost to them. But before we get to any of that,

if you want to be a guest on our Survivor Story episodes, go to our website at Narcissistapocalypse.com,

click on the guest form button, fill out the form, press the submit button. We'll go from there.

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