Why Dating Feels Emotionally Exhausting

Jillian on Love

Daylight Media

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health, Relationships

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2026

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever felt completely fine when you're single—confident, healed, grounded—and then watched all of that fall apart the moment you actually liked someone, this episode is for you. Relationship anxiety isn't just anxious attachment. It's the fear of not being good enough, the fear of being left, and the weight of expecting one person to meet every need your life is missing. Jillian breaks down the real symptoms (the obsessing, the catastrophizing, the midnight doubt spirals), why your nervous system is doing it on purpose, and the belief systems that are quietly running your love life from underneath. Most importantly, she shares the shift that changes everything: when your life is already meaningful, a partner becomes someone you want—not someone you desperately need. Download Jillian’s FREE limerence workbook, http://jillianturecki.com/workbook Join my community and membership, The Conscious Woman Order Jillian's book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on: Instagram: @jillianonlove Threads: @jillianturecki YouTube: @jillian.turecki Email the show at hello@jillianonlove.com Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon ~~ Follow Jillian Turecki on: Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, so today I want to talk about relationship anxiety, which is probably the most common problem
0:14.0	I see people facing today.
0:18.2	And I want to be really clear about what I mean by that.
0:22.6	Relationship anxiety is this large umbrella.
0:25.9	It is anxiety about finding the right person.
0:28.6	It's anxiety about when you do meet someone that you're going to be able to sustain the
0:34.7	relationship.
0:36.2	It's anxiety about the relationship in general, about how much you can give to it, how
0:41.1	much it's going to give to you.
0:43.3	It's anxiety about being a good enough partner.
0:46.3	But at the core of all of it, it is an anxiety about whether or not you are good enough to make a relationship work and to sustain it with
1:03.0	the right partner, meaning that that person is not going to just leave you. So anxious attachment
1:09.0	is part of it, but it's not the whole picture. It's just a general
1:15.0	insecurity about relationships. And the thing is, yes, we can relate that to insecure attachment
1:21.9	and something that started in childhood. But the fact is this. The amount of people I see who are so incredibly anxious about
1:31.5	relationships right now, even if they did not grow up in a household where love was withheld
1:39.3	from them or they felt overwhelmed or messed with their family.
1:46.0	It's not, I'm starting to see more and more of the people who write into me and the people
1:51.1	who I've worked with that it's not just starting with childhood.
1:56.0	It's that we are so overwhelmed with what a relationship means today.
2:03.8	And we have never before put so much pressure on a relationship and on a partner to be almost
2:13.5	our everything.
	...

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