Why Dating Feels Confusing (& What Actually Helps)
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 27 January 2026
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this solo episode, I answer a few listener questions that all point to the same thing: why dating feels so confusing right now. I talk about how to stop hoping potential will turn into effort when someone’s energy changes, how to figure out which dating “rules” actually matter, and how to tell the difference between needing a break from dating and giving up out of burnout. I also explain why sending texts to the group chat for interpretation often creates more confusion, how to create clarity instead, and what to pay attention to when you’re unsure.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, welcome back to another episode of seeing other people. I'm Alana and I am nervous right now. |
| 0:11.0 | This is, I think, my first time ever doing a video solo episode. Now that we have video on Spotify, |
| 0:18.7 | I wanted to give you guys as much video as you possibly can get. |
| 0:22.7 | And I think I'm used to doing solo episodes, just audio, no video. |
| 0:27.7 | And I feel super casual about them, which helps me get over my irrational fear of doing solo |
| 0:33.3 | episodes because I have been hosting a podcast for over five years. |
| 0:36.4 | And I have done over 500 episodes of my podcast, almost 200 episodes of other people's podcasts. And every time I do a |
| 0:42.8 | solo episode, it's not scary. So why do I still put it off and fear it going into it? I don't |
| 0:49.8 | know. But now we are here doing video and I set up a little different setup for this in my studio |
| 0:59.2 | slash office slash guest room where I'm not in the podcast chair. I'm sitting at my desk, |
| 1:04.0 | but like on a cute little angle so you can see all my podcast covers behind me and I'm into it. |
| 1:08.9 | I like it. I'm comfy. I'm wearing my favorite spanks, |
| 1:13.0 | Air Essentials pants. I was actually thinking about it earlier. If I had to, not had to, |
| 1:20.5 | but like I should do this where I should narrow down like the top 10 most used and obsessed or like top 10 products and things in my life that I use in my |
| 1:33.6 | daily life or weekly that I am so obsessed with. What would they be? And I don't know what the |
| 1:39.5 | other nine would be, but I know that the Spinks Air Essentials collection will be on it. No, |
| 1:43.3 | this is absolutely not an ad. |
| 1:45.2 | I just thought about this this morning when I put these pants on because they're the comfiest |
| 1:48.8 | things in the entire world. So I should make a post about that. I think a lot of people always ask, |
| 1:55.5 | and this isn't like an influencer, like, oh my God, people always ask me thing, like, no, a lot of people in real life, |
| 2:02.6 | friends, family, et cetera, always ask, like how much of the stuff that influencers promote |
| 2:08.8 | do they actually use a love? And I mean, I really try to only work with brands and products |
... |
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