The

The As we all know, life is full of ups and downs, but sometimes it feels like we can get stuck in the down,

be it swirling or obsessive thoughts, or a story you keep telling yourself

that isn't actually serving you or a loss of some kind. Being in a negative headspace is

uncomfortable and even painful. I experienced a bit of this myself lately, and meditation was actually the hardest thing of all for me to do.

When we meditate, we have to sit with ourselves in a very full and present way.

We have to feel all of what we're feeling.

And me? I was experiencing some things I wanted to run from.

Therefore, it was much easier and felt better to move,

to clean the house or go for a ride on my bike,

or run a bunch of errands or work until I dropped.

Nothing at all sounded or felt good about sitting down to meditate so i honored that i ran around and did all the things

but then i noticed i was also feeling frazzled in addition to feeling down and i knew i needed to do

what i'd been avoiding and return to my meditation practice.

It was hard.

At first, I just cried.

I'd been holding a fair amount of grief in my heart,

and as I sat and was present with it, it made itself known in a big way.

That day, I meditated for a total of one minute. I went back a few days later,

cried again, made it through maybe three minutes. That was okay. I felt good to touch meditation,

but also good to honor where I was at and not force myself to do more than I felt ready to.

A week later, I was back to a good 15 minutes in the morning and again in the evening if I was

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