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Humans are social by nature. We are hardwired for connection, love, and belonging.

Decades of research taught us that humans thrived in groups because there were safety in numbers.

For this reason and many others, we can understand why humans evolved as social animals

and continue to organize into groups.

Yet today we reinforce a culture that celebrates self-sufficiency, high productivity, and individualism.

But have you ever wondered if perhaps you're a little too independent?

Today we're going to talk about the signs of hyperindependence and how it might be a response to trauma.

Welcome back to Savvy Psychologist. I'm your host Dr. Monica Johnson.

Every week on this show, I'll help you face life challenges with evidence-based approaches,

a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Hyperindependence can develop in response to a single or repeated emotional neglect experience.

In these experiences, you were hurt, betrayed, or abandoned, and learned that others are not reliable or can be trusted.

A common way that we try to avoid repeat trauma is through proactive and typically unhelpful response patterns.

For instance, because of past harmful experiences, we may have decided that we were better off to not rely on others

or that we don't deserve support.

This fear-driven coping mechanism leads to patterns of avoiding closeness, intimacy, and connection.

Here are two ways that hyperindependence may show up in yourself or others.

People who are hyperindependent may over commit to work or personal projects to the point that it can become difficult or impossible to manage to load themselves.

Someone who was hyperindependent will avoid delegating tasks out of fear that others will not follow through, produce the same quality work, or be as efficient as they would.

This is the classmate who volunteers to do all the work in the group project.

The partner who takes the lead in managing the household, or the friend who plants every detail of a two-week foreign vacation.

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