I just finished a series of talks on the core of the darma of the four noble truths and at the end of

Tuesday's class somebody came up to me and she said

can you give a talk on why dating sucks so much?

Which on the one hand is like a wonderfully massive topic, but on the other hand, it's like a wonderfully massive topic but on the other hand it's kind of

self-defining it's like asking why is broccoli such a vegetable you know dating

sucks because it's dating?

I mean, it's kind of the definition, right?

If somebody says they love dating, they're either fucking with your head or they're trying to they're trying to get over on you I think

But anyway I, she went on and she defined it as, she said, well what I really like to know is why do I keep choosing people

that are totally unavailable and you know how to make how to find a situation work in an early dating situation in a way that

is beneficial and so that I thought was a really fun topic, especially after you cover the Four

Noble Truth, it's sort of like, it seems like a fun thing to talk about. And plus it gives me an opportunity to bring in some of my favorite

other topics like along with Buddhist practice psychology. So I'm going to talk a little bit about some of the theories of why we

fall into self-destructive patterns in our life, in our romantic romantic life and some of the ways we can

adjust especially using Buddhist tools to get us unstuck as it were.

So unstuck as it were. So starting off, up until the around 1980s,

1890s, most of the theory of the mind sort of worked from the idea that

human beings are logical creatures and if we fall into illogical choices it means

there's something wrong with the brain and that or the senses and that there was a falling from grace idea

but that man in his by nature was somehow a logical creature and was a Darwin, who of course posited the theory of evolution, and the great philosopher Schopenhauer,

who said that man was driven by this very primordial will to live that was not very logical. It was sort of a

will to just have power or control.

...