Well, as we continue a conversation in some ways from this past week's episode with Gary Thomas,

where we talked about the five senses that we can bring to sex and just using our sight,

smell, touch, taste, and hearing and how that can expand married sex.

We're going to jump right into an email that came in that goes a whole lot different

in some ways on when it can get bad in a relationship, right?

Because if you think about what happens in married sex, there's elements of time

where, man, it becomes, it can get really off the rails.

I guess it's some ways, some ways to describe it. And so this email just came in. And it's just,

it's a wife or it's a, it's a woman, because this is a couple who's not married. So this is a

woman that's saying, hi, I've recently started listening to your show,

and I'm hoping you can help me figure out how to grow, or at least find clarity in my relationship.

My partner and I have been together for five years, but we never really connected sexually.

He prefers the rough porn-style sex while I long for more intimacy.

I've tried to meet him halfway. I've even

tried anal, urine play, even rimming, but I've struggled to find any real pleasure in any of these

experiences. They often feel uncomfortable and even violating. He frequently pushes boundaries during

sex. For example, he'll choke me during oral sex, hold my head down until I

gag or can't breathe. And when I say I can't breathe or ask him to stop, he tells me, just

breathe around it. And I genuinely don't know what that means or how to do it safely. He also

ignores my limits by continuing after I climax, making me squirm in discomfort when I ask him to

stop. The only time he seems to touch me, kiss me, or massage me is to initiate sex, which makes me feel more pressured. He says he's doing it because I told him that those are the things that turn me on, but it feels like there's no room for non-sexual connection anymore. He tells me I'm not doing enough to satisfy him and that I should initiate more,

but I honestly don't want to. Sex has become something I dread. He wants it to last for

...