This is LBC from Global, leading Britain's conversation with James O'Brien.

Hello, three minutes after ten is the time.

My apologies that I managed to end yesterday's show without delivering the conclusion to the

tale of the speeding policeman.

I shall blame that on an esteemed colleague, no doubt, in the course of what follows.

But for the time being, I shall take full responsibility for that.

I will, before the end of today's programme, I will reveal to you the astonishing defence

that saw a police officer

escape all charges after being caught driving at 110 miles an hour in a 13 mile per hour

zone. I imagine most of you've looked up the answer to that. But anyway, to begin with a

mayor cul-par. And speaking of Mayer Al-Cul-Pars, if I ever drop clangers of epic magnitude,

then the organisation which would,

I mean, do everything from slap my wrists

right through to leveling an enormous financial penalty

upon my employer,

that organisation is called Offcom.

And what they do is essentially publish a bunch of guidelines,

which are mostly very sensible, and not always obviously sensible,

but the more you think about them, the more sensible they often become.

And if a broadcaster were to breach those guidelines, so I mean off the

top of my head, if I were to, I mean, most obviously, if I were to even mention elections in a

certain way, then I'd get into trouble. If I mentioned that an election is taking place, in fact,

...