The Michael Berry Show

Miss Virtue who was our math teacher

She was most famous for

Absolutely swatting your ass harder than our principal.

She had two paddles and you would get to pick which paddle you wanted.

You could have a lightning stroke or a thunderbolt and you would pick it. And I was that weird kid who was top of the

class academically but a behavioral problem. Usually you're one or the other.

If you're a behavioral problem you're failing or the other. If you're a behavioral problem you're failing or close

enough to it. If you're a top academic kid you don't cause any problems but I

manage to dominate both and Ms. Virtue would often give me licks,

and I love her for it, because I deserved them.

And she drilled holes in them.

And one had a bunch of little holes, and one had a bunch of little holes and one had a few big holes and we would debate which

one was worse. But the problem is there were a few of us getting legs.

So if Ben Wernie got legs, we'd go pick Thunderbolt. Okay, so he'd go out, whang!

He'd come back in and she made it hurt in the eighth grade.

You come in but when you come in that's a real real it's like being in court and the judge is looking at you and then there's the victim's family over there.

You like, you don't want to smirk because they might throw 10 more years on you.

But you don't want a ball,

because then you'll be a bitch in prison and you know what happens

You can't ever drop the soap so real real tough line to walk

You come in after that and you're walking differently because somehow you don't want to

...