Coming to you from a former nudist colony in Austin, Texas, it's the political orphanage, an audio speak easy for people who like solutions

and humor more than labels and anger.

I'm your host Andrew Heaton, and I looked like Don Quixote in cowboy boots just gaunt and chipper and clearly diluted.

Also, I hate windmills. I won't even set foot in Holland.

The fine program you're listening to is proudly

sponsored by horse stilts. I can't think of anything more embarrassing than

owning a short Mustang. You go down to the horse park to take

Sugar Cube out for a walk and ladies come up and say, oh what a cute pony, how old is he?

Three? And then you look down an embarrassment and say,

actually, he's 50.

50, they say, that's nearly fully grown for a Mustang.

Why is he so short?

And then you admit that, yeah, sugar keeps on the stocky side,

but he is a wonderful personality, so it doesn't matter much.

But you know better. You know all the ladies at the horse park

are laughing at you. Well, fortunately you can buy horse stilts so that your bronco has the heightened stature you both

deserve. Let me ask you something. Have you ever seen a police officer on a Shetland

pony? You just can't respect him.

Whenever I see a police officer on a Shetland, with his legs dangling and inch off the

pavement, I am so filled with loathing and rage that I go straight to a pawn shop and do some looting.

Just walk away with an arm full of VCRs.

And if that cop comes over and says, hey fella, quit looting. I look him right in the eye and I say I don't

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