Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.

So she says to me and you could tell it's something she's been wanting to say forever

finally has the courage to say it and says why are you so angry? Why do you always look so angry in there? She was my

ex-wife and what she was referring to was me in church with resting bitch face as everyone was

worshiping. My hands were not in the air, they were in my pocket, and I looked like I had just gotten into a fight.

And I remember at the time being really mad at myself for not being a Smiley guy.

I've always been, you know, the high-strung kid with deep furrows and always spinning in

thoughts I just I'm just not a smiley person and when she said that it really it hurt me because it was true.

I wouldn't be happy in church. I would just kind of white knucklet.

Because I thought that's what a good husband does because I thought that's what she wanted.

I mean I was curious about God and a spiritual life and church I wasn't resistant to it

but I it's like I wasn't ready. I feel like I was being forced to do something I wasn't ready to do.

You know? I even went as far as getting baptized, and of course I feel like I did it because it was the progression. It was... was

for her it was what I should do is what I should do is what a good Christian man looks like you know

but I wasn't Christian man looks like, you know?

But I wasn't ready and it didn't feel honest.

And I think, and now looking back, it wasn't about me being angry. It was about me being dishonest.

And I think whenever we are dishonest with ourselves in any environment,

whether that is your church or your marriage or your you know the company you work for or the company

...