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This is LBC, from Global, leading Britain's conversation, mystery hour with James O'Brien three minutes after

12 is the time you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC where as the man said it is now time for

mystery hour your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available

anywhere else on your radio dial.

The way it works is this. You ring in with a question, a mystery, a riddle, an enigma,

and someone else rings in with an answer. That's it.

03456-090973. There's the number you need. Make the favourite, my favourite contribution of the week,

and you will win a Mystery Hour board game.

You can find the full terms and conditions for that.

Proper grown-up radio competition at LBC.co.uk.

And, of course, if you want to buy a board game, then you can just go to mystery hour. Dotco.com. UK, where opportunities abound.

But that is it.

I mean, I also usually make a promise of one laugh-out-loud moment between now and one o'clock.

So do you know what? I'll do that today as well.

It's a promise.

I think we'll start. Shall we?

Should we just crack straight on?

...