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The Overwhelmed Brain

When your lessons come back to test you

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni

Therapy, Emotions, Sad, Health, Mental Health, Personal, Abuse, Anxiety, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Psychological, Self-improvement, Mind, Stress, Emotional, Anger, Philosophy, Divorce, Psychology, Addiction, Happiness, Happy, Development, Thinking, Success, Education, Frustration, Sadness, Manipulation, Resistance, Brain, Depression, Overwhelm, Mental

4.52K Ratings

🗓️ 28 April 2024

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our past lessons and learnings can sometimes sneak up on us as a challenge to pass to prepare us for what may come. "Passing" usually means facing a fear of some sort. "Failing" usually means repeating the same old thing over and over again until we get it. Or not.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I've told this story before but my partner, Asha, when I first moved in with her.

0:14.0

This was back in 2015.

0:18.0

We moved in and something really bothered her.

0:22.0

Something really bothered her because I noticed this is after a few months. I noticed that she wasn't looking at me and when I walked in the door she didn't look at me and she wasn't like giving me a hug or a kiss.

0:34.8

And not that she's very mushy anyway, but this was a little bit less mushy than normal.

0:44.0

And so after a few days I'm trying to process this is a fairly new relationship for both of us.

0:52.0

I'm trying to process what's going on. fairly new relationship for both of us.

0:53.2

I'm trying to process what's going on.

0:56.1

Where the hell is she?

0:57.4

What is going on inside her?

0:59.4

She's not looking at me.

1:01.1

She's not giving me a kiss. She's not noticing me in the room. And so I finally

1:07.7

asked her what's going on and her answer was nothing.

1:15.0

That's like, that's the hardest thing to work with.

1:19.0

Nothing.

1:20.0

But I knew something was going on. I had done a lot of healing and growth and I've worked on my boundaries and I've worked on expressing myself. I've worked on being vulnerable.

1:32.0

And so when she said nothing, I was reminded of myself in the past,

1:39.6

where nothing meant I really have something to say but I don't want to say it.

1:44.0

I want to say something to you but I don't want to say it because I don't want to deal with the consequences of what might happen if I do say it.

1:54.3

So I'm not going to say anything.

1:57.5

My personal approach to that in the past was when I was afraid to say something it was because I was afraid of conflict and I was also

2:06.7

afraid of abandonment and rejection and so I felt it was better for me not to say anything at all.

...

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