When your lessons come back to test you

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.5 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 28 April 2024

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our past lessons and learnings can sometimes sneak up on us as a challenge to pass to prepare us for what may come. "Passing" usually means facing a fear of some sort. "Failing" usually means repeating the same old thing over and over again until we get it. Or not.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	I've told this story before but my partner, Asha, when I first moved in with her.
0:14.0	This was back in 2015.
0:18.0	We moved in and something really bothered her.
0:22.0	Something really bothered her because I noticed this is after a few months. I noticed that she wasn't looking at me and when I walked in the door she didn't look at me and she wasn't like giving me a hug or a kiss.
0:34.8	And not that she's very mushy anyway, but this was a little bit less mushy than normal.
0:44.0	And so after a few days I'm trying to process this is a fairly new relationship for both of us.
0:52.0	I'm trying to process what's going on. fairly new relationship for both of us.
0:53.2	I'm trying to process what's going on.
0:56.1	Where the hell is she?
0:57.4	What is going on inside her?
0:59.4	She's not looking at me.
1:01.1	She's not giving me a kiss. She's not noticing me in the room. And so I finally
1:07.7	asked her what's going on and her answer was nothing.
1:15.0	That's like, that's the hardest thing to work with.
1:19.0	Nothing.
1:20.0	But I knew something was going on. I had done a lot of healing and growth and I've worked on my boundaries and I've worked on expressing myself. I've worked on being vulnerable.
1:32.0	And so when she said nothing, I was reminded of myself in the past,
1:39.6	where nothing meant I really have something to say but I don't want to say it.
1:44.0	I want to say something to you but I don't want to say it because I don't want to deal with the consequences of what might happen if I do say it.
1:54.3	So I'm not going to say anything.
1:57.5	My personal approach to that in the past was when I was afraid to say something it was because I was afraid of conflict and I was also
2:06.7	afraid of abandonment and rejection and so I felt it was better for me not to say anything at all.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.