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Well, I think pretty much every wife longs to have an emotionally secure attachment to her husband.

She wants to feel safe emotionally.

But what if he's very, very distant?

We're going to talk about that today.

Welcome to the show.

I'm John Fuller, joined by Greg and Aaron Smalley, who lead our marriage team here at Focus.

And just last night, I was talking with Dina and I said,

I think I speak too much. I think I say too many things that trigger you and irritate you.

And she said, I don't think you talk enough to me. So maybe I am the emotionally husband. That's

what we're talking about today. Let's go back to early on in your

relationship. What was the contour like for emotional safety for you, Erin? Well, I had some

pretty high expectations and I will say that they were dashed because I expected Greg was going to listen to my feelings, my emotions,

and be there for me like one of my girlfriends would have been.

And granted, at times you were able to do that.

But then we didn't know about this whole thing called the reactive cycle that when we get

triggered and we react and then we're in this

spin cycle, we didn't know what to do with that amidst trying to lean in and care about

those deeper level emotions. Yeah, I think I was, I thought to love you, like if you were

sharing something that didn't involve you and I, an issue between you and I, I still would listen

to go, oh, well, here's what you could do. Like, I thought that's how I was loving, you were solving

...