Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Every now and then I'll get a message from someone who decides to leave an abusive relationship.

And they share with me what they had to think about what they had to go through, how long it took.

And it's almost always the same story. The story typically contains the moment of realization, which is what I call a threshold moment, where the person writing to me, the person going through

this says to themselves, I've had enough.

I'm done.

This is it.

It's over.

And sometimes they will tell, let's just say it's a romantic relationship.

They will tell their partner that

you either have to change or I'm gone. And if their partner says, wait, wait, wait,

I'll change. Hopefully they will. But some partners, some people do not want to change and believe that everyone else in the world

should change for them.

And those are the kind of people that sometimes we just have to admit that we cannot stay

with, we cannot be with, because they refuse to look inside themselves. They refuse

to reflect on what they're doing and they refuse to accept that they are a problem and probably

the problem in the relationship. And so when you're with somebody who refuses to look inward, who refuses to reflect,

...