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Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

When You Feel Like You’re Trying More Than Your Spouse

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4978 Ratings

🗓️ 14 December 2020

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this conversation with Tony Overbay of the Virtual Couch podcast, Dr. Finlayson-Fife talks about living with a narcissistic spouse AND the frustrating pursuer-distancer dynamic common to many couples.   Here are some of the specific things Dr. Finlayson-Fife addresses.... -How to function in a relationship when your spouse has narcissistic traits or tendencies. -Where you are vulnerable when living with or loving someone who won't self-confront or change.  -How to make sense of and address the experience of feeling more invested than your spouse.  -How to grow in your capacity for an open hearted relationship if you tend to stay arm's length.  -Understanding attachment or relational styles (such as being “clingy”, or “walled off” in relationship) and how to grow into a more self-sustaining and relational position.   To learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s work, visit our Website, check out our Course Page, and take a look at our upcoming Events. You can also follow Dr. Finlayson-Fife on Instagram or join her FREE Facebook Group for greater access to her insights. www.Finlayson-Fife.com You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and Stitcher. The advice offered through Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Podcast Archive is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information.  It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care.  Although Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a trained psychotherapist, she is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these sessions, but rather using her training to inform these sessions.  Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment.  The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients; and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever.  The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease.  The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, my name is Ruby, and I'm Dr. Jennifer Finlays and Five's assistant, and you're listening to the Dr Finlays and 5 podcast Archive.

0:08.0

The podcast you'll be listening to today is entitled,

0:11.0

When you feel like you're trying more than your spouse,

0:14.0

originally produced and published by Tony Overbay

0:16.6

of the virtual couch podcast.

0:18.8

Before we launch into today's episode,

0:20.6

we wanted to remind you of Dr Finlason Fife's Christmas sale

0:23.6

currently taking place on her website. Dr Finlason Fife's exceptional online

0:27.6

courses are currently 20% off plus additional discounts when you buy more

0:31.5

than one course.

0:32.8

Visit our website at Finlason-Fife.com to learn more.

0:37.4

Welcome and we hope you enjoy this episode.

0:40.4

I think the first time that we recorded, I made Fort night jokes and I think how funny that is does your son still play out of curiosity?

0:47.0

Actually not really he's kind of changed sort of sworn it off for a bit so it's a of moderation what do they do now I mean mostly

0:56.7

schoolwork okay okay that's true yeah so I mean still does some of, but he's been much more like I just need to he plays

1:06.2

Runscape sometimes I know that one I've heard of that one. Yeah

1:10.0

So do mainly do you just see couples, out of curiosity?

1:13.0

Do you do individuals?

1:14.0

No, I do both.

1:15.0

I do both, but couples is sort of my primary modality.

1:20.0

But I do definitely have people that come to me individually, but I find couples work to be harder, but in a lot of ways more effective because you're getting not just the person's self-deluded view of themselves.

1:33.0

But you know, you get to see the person through another lens as well and see how the system is working

...

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