Welcome to love and abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship,

from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

You deserve respecting kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thanks for tuning into another episode of love and abuse. Today I'm going to actually address

a review that I received because it said the last episode rubbed them the wrong way. They didn't mention the episode

title, so I'm not sure which one it is, but they said that they're in emotionally and verbally

abusive relationship. They go on to say, I was always apologizing for years and begging for

forgiveness. I've been in therapy and have started standing up for myself. I don't grovel, apologize, or beg.

I now tell him he's in the wrong when he's abusive and point out when he needs to change.

The episode that they're referring to basically says that a victim will never blame the abuser.

And I think that is skewed and can lead to confusion. A victim can be assertive.

They can know it's not them. They can call the abuser out for their behavior and still be the

victim. At some point, you realize that it's the abuser's responsibility to get help and change,

and then you stop fawning. It is the abuser who is causing the relationship problems.

And I don't mean normal grievances, of course, but the abuse cycle.

Can you clarify this to your audience? So this way if someone here is a victim,

quote, blaming the abuser, they don't start to think that the victim is actually the abuser.

It is really hard to clarify, as I'm sure my significant other plays victim to his group of friends as well.

All right, thank you for writing that, and it is a great point to talk about today, and yes, you're absolutely right.

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