Hi, my name is John Kim and I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth. I share my feelings and revelations. I believe in casual or

clinical and with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on

purpose because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated. I am sitting in a very

squeaky chair. I just want you to know that. So if you hear something that's not coming from my butt.

One of the questions I get often is how do I know when to fight for a relationship and when not to fight for a relationship?

Put a bookmark there. I will get to that question, but I want to first remind you that you are always fighting for your relationship. Now let me explain this because many

people think you meet someone you know oh there it is, here that's quick, there's chemistry, there's banter, there is hot sex, and you think that that alone is going to carry you through the fights and disconnect.

You think that alone is going to be the bridge that makes you walk across the contrast, the arguments, you know, all of that stuff.

And the thing that's hard is the more you get to know someone, the more you have to fight for the relationship.

Unfortunately, I wish it was the other way where naturally the longer, it should be

the other way, right? The longer you invest in someone, the easier it should be right no I'm sorry it's

actually it gets harder you know but but not all the time meaning sometimes it gets

harder but then people start changing, people start growing, people start getting healthy, people start working on themselves, and you could actually revamp the relationship.

Okay, I'm talking about something completely different right now,

but here's the thing.

You should always be fighting for your relationship

because relationships require both people to fight for it or it's going to naturally drift.

This is my belief that, and it's not just intimate relationships,

I think all relationships,

if two people are not fighting for their relationships,

for their relationship,

...